Books Ahoy! (Libraries-the New Book Store)

Joey Coombe, my West Coast correspondent, has just informed me that libraries are now lending books free of charge. Libraries "have turned the literary world upside down. For no monthly fee you can have up to 10 books out a time and as you return them you will be allowed to check out more. choose from new releases, bestsellers even classics." The amount of books allowed per check out, varies from library to library, but it is relatively consistent that these places do in fact exist, and have done so with little public attention.

Upon further investigation, Joey has uncovered, what many had believed to be urban legends, and the rules that bind such institutions. Albeit an ingenious concept, there are still slight kinks in this fence of learning. "We know that libraries have limited shelf space and must be sure that the books they carry are going to get borrowed, so rare or older titles may not be included in their collections. In addition, everyone knows how difficult it can be to borrow a bestseller or new release from the library based on limited availability and long waiting lists. Why put your patrons through that?"

These discouraging inconveniences still may prove better than the alternatives presented by internet-schemesters attempting to make us pay for our beloved bound ladles, which we use to drink from the fountains of knowledge. Book Swim.com offers a netflix like program where patrons who could be wasting time at libraries, can instead waste money renting books online. These hamburgerler-esk thieves claim to provide a haven for the book worm, but are undoubtedly capitalizing on the irony which plagues casual readers. The inability to read the fine print.

We will be monitoring the rapid pace at which these libraries continue to eat up real estate faster than McDonalds and the Catholic Church combined, to bring knowledge to any and all who wish to expand their vocabularies and imaginations, but refuse to pay for it.